anger.

or, aggravation. really.

things that tip me over the edge include:

when brooks decides to just leave plates on the counter, instead of walking to three feet to the dishwasher.

when customers ask me for stupid drinks.

when my stomach gets all knotted and refuses to let me eat.

when i have horrible dreams.

when i get stepped on (physically, it's unpleasant...)

when terrible people play great, iconic characters in tv shows or movies and RUIN them.

cockroaches. ew.

being cold with goosebumps.

having a cold and/or cough.

-- moving on --

so yesterday wasn't bad. i snuggled forever on the couch, napped, watched lots of nothing. went to work and whined about not having cake balls (don't ask, if you don't know, just know they're delicious) and then got sent home at ten.

segue: the wind tunnel at my job hates me. and, well, everyone. but i think me in particular. i couldn't walk forward for a good few seconds because of how powerful it was. - end segue.

my toes are kind of cold... they keep getting that slight numb, tingling feeling.

my old book idea is still burning in my head, but i keep getting discouraged. only a few people know the extent of it (actually... i think maybe two? and one i don't talk to all that often anymore, 'cause he got a girlfriend and i had a boyfriend haha. that, and his band practices in crazy amounts.)

i guess, without someone behind me, saying do it do it do it do it do it it's hard to feel motivated. but then again, i've been getting lazier these past two weeks. i need to pick up my game again. once i hang out with steve, i'm sure i'll feel rejuvenated. somehow his show-off-ness (jokiiing) always makes me feel like moving and doing things.

kat made a copy of the "mumford and sons" album for me. so. good. dear. god.

i've been on a practically liquid-diet these past few weeks. i wonder if i weigh less... curious.

i need someone to cuddle up next to and kiss, quasi-soon. but not too soon, 'cause i might pretend their gil o.O haha.

i wish today were warmer.. i'd wear a skirt. i think i'll do that on friday. 'cause i have a real quick visit to qc to drop off deposits, then meg's coming out to shoot video, so i want to look nice. (: i still remember, right around this time last year was when she made that music video to "only exception" with mario. it came out really nice.

on formspring, they asked randomly "if you could put any fortune in a fortune cookie, what would it be?"

it'd be "you will smile soon."

because it'd make the person smile, and come true.

the idea of it makes me smile.

so, hey, buck up people.

smile. life's not that serious. (this is all to my subconscious, by the way)

i've never believed in "sometimes it's not meant for right now" as much as i do now, but i also believe in "sometimes you just have to wait, it'll happen."

i get that you're supposed to be avidly searching, but at the same time, you're not.

you have to be open to life. that's how i fell for gil. who knows, maybe i'll get lucky.

maybe i'll meet someone the same way.

maybe i'll fall in love.

OR maybe i'll turn into a cat lady with eighty cats and smelling like oatmeal, hoping for diana's son felipe to take care of the both of us as we die slowly...

wow that's morbid. okay, i'm going to laze about still. watch some tv. then get ready.

STEVE DAY. i'm excited.

-aleey

ps. remember. smile.