eating delicious vienna sausages.

i'm watching parenthood and the parents of haddie just overheard her having sex because somehow her phone accidentally dialed them. does that still actually happen? i feel like people are smarter than that, but whatever.

i feel incredibly nauseas still. i threw up a bit at work - if by throwing up, i mean dry heaving what wasn't in my body out. ugh. i feel sick. i don't know why though. i sort of just want to curl up and sleep until i can't anymore. and sleep some more after that. i have to write a paper that's due on friday tomorrow. it seriously needs to get done. and hopefully i'll sleep. hopefully.

haha. the parents are in a stunned silence. strange.

haha. it. hahahahahahahahaha.

i'm so crazily delusional.

i really want to kiss bryan. how do i tell him that without sounding like all "i claim you"? haha.

-aleey

watch this

now.

told you it's beautiful.

hauntingly beautiful. love it. you know you do.

-aleey

ps: you loved his loins until your last heart beat.

then you ask why i don't live here...

honey, why don't you move?

i was listening to on the road again by bob dylan on my way home. it's one of the few songs on my mixed cd that always manages to make me smile real big. i'll never get tired of it. plus, it plays right after 2.99c by my beloved regina. it's beautiful. aha.

i have to admit, today was... better than i expected? i spent the first part of the day (after my bio lab) writing. and i really, really like where it's going. sure, it's nothing too specific just yet... and it's all a rough outline of what i want, so we'll see. i'm going to recruit oz and strudel (and hobbit's already looked at it today) to read it. i'm looking forward to what they have to say, because really? who else can read my mind the way they do? no one. not a single person.

well, maybe my mom. but, really?

i'm a little chilly. and i'm icing my knee. again. gonna have to wear the ace bandage tomorrow at school and hope that i don't gimp too much around campus. maybe i'll hitch a ride on someone's back (yeah, right, likely.) i can't wait for tomorrow to be over. then my week will really start. my plans for this week are fairly epoch. (yes, intentional, enjoy it damnit.)

wednesday: during the day i write my paper. or, in the morning, i go get contacts. either or. (i may put that off to next week when i have more time). then class 'til two. then i'll probably hang out with tone and jess for a bit, they'll go to class, and then duh-duh-duh-duh-duh! manny gets out of class at three, so we're going to help a friend of his dress himself better. or change his style. something like that. and then joe and i will meet up, probably on campus. it'll be a blast.

thursday: i don't have native american lit (it was cancelled, we have to see a play instead). so that means i might not go to play writing. however, i do have to go to the play. i forgot that when i suggested thursday to see alex. maybe i'll all ask (force) him to come with me. depends on if it costs anything. if it doesn't, i'll just tell him to get his ass here. if not, i'll cancel plans and we'll postpone to another night. his band does have a show on the thirtieth, so he can't possibly miss me too much.

friday: school, and then bam! it's strudel's weekend birthday drinking extravaganza! we're going out friday and saturday. i'm thinking of just getting someone to take my saturday opening shift, so i can drink however much i want and just crash on her couch or something. i'll figure it out. meh.

saturday: either work in the morning and then more drinking, or just, straight drinking. which doesn't sound like me, sure, but... it's strudel's birthday. i can't not do what she wants... it's like i'm driven to follow her every command. (do NOT let that go to your head, woman.)

and then sunday is officially spring break for me. it's cyndi's last day of the play she's doing (which i think is the new discovery thing or whatever that i need to see for native lit anyway). and then she's going to probably spend some time at my house, since she's coming over for easter. awww, easter... oh noes!

my whole damn family is on a diet! i know we'll be having lamb, but... but what if there's no sponakopetia?! what if i have to just eat... normal things? normal easter food? what if i don't get to pretend to be greek at all?!

well, that was overdramatic. but i'm watching craig ferguson. and he always makes me overly dramatic.

let's see. what else happened today? hobbit bought me dinner! it was very nice of him. we closed fairly timely for what we usually do. once i noticed how many magazines there were to put away, though, i pretty much slowed down my pace from let's get the eff outta here to okay, eleven-thirty ain't bad...

tone and jess keep making fun of me. saying i have a thing for my friend shea. i just get easily distracted when people make faces at me! i'm sorry! mean.

sigh.

stupid knee. sigh again.

i watched the ultimate showdown again yesterday. i seriously missed it. don't know why. and word dissociation. i love lemon demon.

dream, dreamer, dream.

why can't i SLEEP?!

hum. i started writing two things today. first was the one previously mentioned. then i started to write something (on cardboard again, do not judge me, damnit) and it actually started better than i thought it would. something about thinking a customer is a serial killer. not creepy, just observatory.

unrelated: i really love mike rowe. he's so adorable.

also, because i have to just admit to my newly renewed obsession with this man:

do you see him? do you?! i know strudel. and well... everyone who reads this, since the only other one who does is corey, and he's a boy. so you probably don't see. but. look!

ADORABLE.

so adorable. love him. sigh.

all right. craig ferguson is love. i think i'm going to try to finish up wristcutter's: a love story (with patrick fugit, who's adorable sort of) because it actually seems pretty nice so far. i love the dull-set filming. it's kind of perfect for the whole suicide theme.

ugh. i should attempt sleeping. but i'm hungry, too, and that's not a beneficial thing for me at all. meh.

all right lovelies. smile.

i'm going to pretend that i have money and look up dresses on modcloth.com

sigh.

(:

-aleey

ps. all this sighing as to stop. i sound like i'm constantly complaining about my life.

where do we go from here?

bio lab went well. (here we go with the mundane again, folks. beware.) got my paper back (the article one - the one i wrote the night before til one thirty with little to no knowledge). you could get anywhere from a 1-15. guess who got a perfect score? this chick. thanks, thanks, thanks.

skipped history because really? i'm too exhausted and my writing is suffering too much. one missed class (well, at this rate two) won't kill me. i think i'll manage to survive it all. all i have to do is actually do all the readings i haven't done. i'll set aside a day during vacation to do that. probably thursday, or monday/tuesday before work. which reminds me, i can't wait for next week. can you say freedom? the mere thought of not having to do any real work other than play the necessary catch-up makes me feel like a real human again.

maybe i'll actually do something. if i can i'll try to take a road trip. wednesday into thursday, maybe, since i'm fairly certain i don't have too much planned. and joe probably doesn't have work until late thursday, so kidnapping for the sake of freedom should be entirely worth it.

when there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.

i'm at the computer lab in school. here's what's been going through my head since i woke up this morning:

why do i have strange dreams about hotel rooms, and people smoking weed from bright green glass bongs? why does bio have to be at nine on mondays? can't it be never on neverdays? (that's literally how my brain functioned this morning.) i was in the shower and again got distracted by my nose. it's really not good. oh, goddamnit, now i'm distracted by it again. the tip is in my line of vision when i'm looking forward, like i am now, at the screen. why am i so awkward? truly, sir ulrich.

also, i'm still terribly in the mood to watch session 9, but i'm a complete chicken. i'll have to set up a day when someone isn't terribly busy and has the least amount of desire to make me feel as small as pea when i curl up next to them out of fear. i may morph into a ball of aleey, frightened to a peak of insanity as i try to overcome the fear insighted by what my brother calls the last real horror movie of our generation. and the premise of it (three guys working in an old abandoned asylum who stumble upon a video set of a woman with multiple personalities) sounds promising. haha, premise, promising... i didn't even do that on purpose.

why is that funny?

why so serious?

god, he's dead, how weird is that?

i started writing something that i'm now already disappointed in. i'm going to finish typing it up and email it to oz to dissect what i have thus far. ideas would be fabulous. i've got this great idea, and it's all natural based, because really, trees are awesome. and a world without a large weeping willow tree isn't a world at all.

i'm good at repairs and i'm under each snare.

dear gorillaz, please don't ever stop. thanks, aleey.

so, remember that thing i said i wanted? the kiss thing? i think i may have devised a plan to attain such a kiss. the downside? it won't be from who i want it to be from, but it will be from someone i know for a fact is capable of it. because i taught him how to do it! i wonder what it would be like to do it to someone. hum. now i'm overthinking everything.

clarification, so you don't have to scroll down and over a few days: what i want is that kind of kiss where one arm is wrapped around the waist, the other is at the back of the head and then pow. my knees buckle and i can barely breathe. how much of a sap am i? i swear, john cusack would be my ultimate counterpart for any 80s teen romance flick. or even serendipity.

sigh.

serenity. why did i think of that? now i'm thinking of wash being dead. who wants to think about that? i loved wash. stupid movie. killing off alan tudyk. just... random, too. ship crashes. lands it straight through his gut.

hum.

i want to make a list of my favorite movies again. it's changed a little bit. i guess i should make one list (of my favorite movies) and another (of the movies that i believe are superior to others in the world).

but i won't do that now. i have to get back to writing. and swooning. don't judge me strudel, you know how i swoon. it's nice to.

also, corey, catt daddy.

enjoy your day, folks.

remember, you will smile soon.

-aleey

reminders to myself

making movies of myself. sorry, rufus wainwright moment...

right, so reminders!

i think the... 26th: port city show (it's a wednesday, right? maybe it's the 27th. i should check.)

30th: (saturday? friday? saturday. just checked on my fingers) is alex's bands show.

am i forgetting something?

no, strudel, i know next friday and/or saturday we're drinking for your birthday because your actual birthday is the day before easter. i don't need a reminder for it. ha.

am i forgetting something else? i feel like i am, really. fudge. oh well.

(not fudge the bear, fudge as in 'i don't want to curse' fudge.)

-aleey

rama lama bang bang

sorry, have to watch that video. the one with wade robson. he's amazing. how sad am i? i can't remember for the life of me how to post videos in here anymore... one moment, please. aha! let's see.

^--- that video.

that's good. but now my font won't go back to the style i want. whatever, i'll just fix it later i guess.

di just made me eggs. i'm so hungry. oy gavult.

oh! haha, funny that oy reminded me of this. apparently my ex is dating the girl he left me for - except she cheated on who she was with for him! i'm utterly astounded! for shame.

in unrelated news, i'm hanging out with alex later today, probably going bowling because even as friends we're like an old married couple. we'll probably listen to yellowcard while we're driving in his mini cooper, or dead poetic, and then we'll go bowl two games (i'll probably just closely kick his butt) then we'll do... i don't know. dinner maybe? haha. let's do dinner, shall we? why yes darling, that sounds absolutely divine.

children playing games in the living room. with probably very unsafe pointed tips of wood (not swords, more like kebab skewers. whatever. let them hurt themselves, it's the only way they'll learn!)

i am going to make a terrible mother. ha. enjoy it while you can children.

speaking of children, i wonder how arianna and kayla are. the latter probably still causing trouble, but the first is still the little angel she's always been. if i ever have kids, i want an arianna. she's literally the best.

i'm going to get up and get those eggs. i will. soon. at some point. ...maybe. (really? probably not.)

were there any other videos i wanted to share? did i ever share this one?

it's so terribly good. i really do enjoy it. it's pretty and nice. (<--- like my vernacular and adjective prowess there?)

she fights for her life on the train.

i'm winning you with words because i have no other way, so nice.

if there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.

'tis true. maybe i'll see if manny isn't bored out of his mind on wednesday. we'll go eat something and make fun of each other's love predicaments. if that is what they are.

"if that is your real name!"

i had to. i heard craig ferguson in my head as i wrote it.

i really should go eat... and probably relieve myself, as nature calls. but i have no desire to mooooooooove. (insert cow mooing here)

now i have that song in my head. let's see... what's something better. (well, not better as her morning elegance isn't bad.)

THIS VIDEO.

love the song, love... the suggestions. ha. i'm a huge fan.

i will burn the heart out of you.

i have been reliably informed that i don't have one.

beautiful.

lights will guide you home. and ignite your bones.

and i will try to fix you.

love it. i'm such a sap. jees.

all right, breakfast time. and possibly shower and homework time, if i fight off procrastination...

back, procrastination, back! back in your cage!

-aleey

talking about having sex with chickens...

somehow, strudel always manages to make me laugh, weird me out and consume my life whenever i'm with her. i don't know how i manage to survive life without her sometimes.

so, my day, though work-filled, wasn't terrible. i had a decent morning (as noted before, what with all that strange rambling... about bald men) and lunch was delicious (chili). jesus... i'm doing it again. really? how disinteresting can i be? i'm the most humanly boring living organism.

in other news, apparently craig ferguson masturbates to golf.

I HAVE BEEN MISSPELLING MASTURBATES UNTIL JUST NOW. i always put an e instead of a u. go me? for being... illiterate? god, i fail.

wait a second. craig is wearing a three piece suit. and i should be paying attention to him. something about drinking. so much drinking...

i've been texting bryan back and forth. is it bad that i keep getting that shit-eating grin whenever he does? great, i'm smitten. tom was right. i'm smitten. what a shame, huh? what a shame.

i'm exhausted. why does my brain stop working?

shatners? seizers? i should probably be listening. yep, there's a leprechaun. with a golf club. and reeeeally rosy cheeks. next to geoff. (geoff's a robot). i could definitely go for a really big glass of rice milk. mmmm. so good.

mishamigos. i miss misha collins making a weekly appearance in my life.

craig said testicles. and now it's time for commercials. oh, geoff. dearest geoff.

i'm a little chilly. this blankets not too warm. shame.

hate. hate upon you. oh reid.

hobbit visited me at work! it's always nice. he never finished his story... i got to the point where he was waiting for corey to get back with cindy (for shame.) i wish i was cool like the freedom chase card commercial guy.

i'm not too tired. which is weird. i blame work. i always blame work. mmmm. work was fun though. joe and i closed with tom. joe is adorable. he's sort of the foundation of cafe at times. he's just... a sweet kid. and tom did not start riots at disney this year. however jakey did indeed actually have a princess breakfast. apparently he loves the princesses and was most definitely macking on them the entire time.

i'm really chilly.

your mouse is not different! your mouse is like any other mouse!

love his face. oh, oh craig.

i like eating breakfast for dinner. dear dear. silly betty. try it! it's delicious!

(sorry, answering craig's emails with him...)

and star wars. dear c3po: i love you. not really, though.

leia: i happen to like nice men.

han: i'm a nice man... (kiss)

kissed a girl?!

shalom.

what am i doing here? attempting to entertain strudel.

i need to write more later.

"i'm six feet under and i'm starting to rot."

maybe later.

-aleey