the meaning of life

shoes
boys
love
women
tea
moments between moments
laughter
children
snowflakes
seeing the sunrise
knowing what you want to do
knowing what you should do
being with someone

so many people speculate. what is the meaning of life, where doesn't it come from, how is still existing. no one realizes. no one wants to realize that the meaning of life is circumstantial. or no existent. there is no meaning in life, only meaning in moments, in seconds, in how you live your life, more so. take this very moment. i'm sitting here, writing, waiting for the water to boil so i can have some deliciously watered-down hot chocolate (because if it's made with milk it's too thick) thinking about how much i really want to watch "streets of fire" with michael pare, diane lane and willem dafoe (don't knock my dafoe kick, the guy is pretty much awesome.)


but if i could be where i want to be, which isn't sitting here looking like a bum but instead outside on my pogostick, well i don't know if that would make the meaning in my life any different. and it's not truly that i don't want to be here; life is moments built up where people either sit and recognize that the moment is good, or live their life wondering if the moment would have been better if... but the what ifs and the is the grass greener moments just complicate life.

stop complicating life when you know there's no reason to do it. i wish i didn't. if i could restfully dream of butterflies and banjos and penguins instead of what i wish i was doing with who i wish i was doing it with, i think the absolutely crazy lifestyle i've conceived for myself would be less hectic. but i don't. there's drama in my heart, because i don't know how to smile sometimes.

except now. the water's boiling. and i'm going to drink hot chocolate from a penguin mug. that makes me smile.


the mug is a cute little penguin. with a head that comes off for the drinks. and the head goes back on, to keep it warm. it's beautiful.


hum. perhaps i'll do a devilishly girly thing today and get my nails done. or, perhaps, see if people want to stop by for some scrabble playing, tea and coffee having fun.

or maybe i'll sit, by myself and catch up on craig ferguson.

who knows. the possibilities are endless.

and that's how i know my life has meaning. because i'm enjoying it. (:

-aleey.