i've come to realize that nearly all of my titles are exactly what i'm thinking right before i decide to write in this. it's odd. i wonder how often i think of these things otherwise... not much, i'd say.
unless they're movie quotes, in which case, probably fairly often.
i'm, for once, completely unfettered with relaxation. it's been so long since i didn't feel pressured to be perfect school-wise, and i'm exhausted by how relaxing it feels. the only thing in the back of my head is my play. or, the ten pages due for my play. i have no idea when i'm going to write it. sigh.
i'm hungry, but not too hungry, thirsty but not too thirsty and ultimately exhausted. i want to check out from the conscious world, but i felt it necessary that i jot down a few things first.
i didn't write my poem for today. however, i did manage to write hobbit his letter. and i received a very lovely hug-text from strudel that made me smile so big it hurt. i was a little perturb in the middle of the day, what with the realization that hey, i'm not a good friend (again), but i got over it. not a big deal.
i can't be perfect for everyone. and as harsh as it sounds, there are levels of people who come first in my life. generally family, and my closest friends. i prioritize my life around spending time with the people i hold dear. that's why meg and i had a blast this weekend, why jo and i have plans for later, why joe and i always have plans for wednesdays and why whenever hobbit and corey are like SO YEAH i'm like HELL YEAH.
it's my life. i love it. i can't keep letting little things drag me down. sure, i wish i could be that perfect friend for everyone. but i guess i just feel more comfortable with other people at all times. more open. like with joanna. and meghan. and definitely hobbit and corey.
it's difficult to add people to that level of my friends. i'm open with all of my friends, but not trusting. it's weird.
i'm kind of... just ready to twirl around until i fall, dizzy.
that sounds lovely.
night, world.
-aleey
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