the reasons

remember? remember when i said i didn't want to sleep upstairs because of how strange it is up here? remember how i said it makes me uncomfortable to be around them? especially when they don't know how to talk to one another and how they fight and everything?

yeah. yeah. this is why i don't want to be here. why i kind of just want to go back downstairs. she doesn't know how to raise a child. and he's so spoiled he refuses to think that he needs to change or do anything. he's nine years old. this isn't cute, or funny, or something to condone. this is idiotic. there's no middle ground, now discipline followed up on or rules to guide him. i can't stand it.

and then it just... dissipates. goes back to normal, and i'm just sitting here, wondering what the hell is going on anymore. i do miss being downstairs, seeing my mom, but i like having privacy. there's such a trade-up right now for me, and the pros and cons aren't weighed the ways i thought they'd be. and it sucks. big time.

sigh.